What’s Love Got to do with It?
Ahead of our next Wisdom Podcast at 4pm UK on Saturday 24 October, Snake looks into how couples can come together during tough times and not let disagreements drive themselves apart.
Yet another side effect of the pandemic is widespread disagreement. From the governance of nations to carving out laptop space on the dining room table, contention seems always within arm鈥檚 reach.
Accustomed to freedom of movement, and abundant human interaction including at work, family or friends we suddenly find ourselves attempting to negotiate this 鈥榥ew normal鈥� face-to-face with a partner, in a small pod; or alone with only a mirror for company.
It鈥檚 little wonder we鈥檙e all a bit edgy.
A difference of opinion or disagreement can have a positive impact on a relationship revealing unforeseen options or creative solutions. But conflict, or the chronic inability to reconcile disagreements, can damage a relationship beyond repair.
Judging or minimising the beliefs and desires of another weakens trust. Blaming others as an exercise in avoidance or denial causes disagreements to fester, and grow into full-blown conflict.
Allowing a relationship to define the individual can disempower. Disagreements though reveal differences that define and mature that individual.
The art of disagreement requires self-examination. When uncertainty rules the moment people tend to explode, implode鈥� or yearn for something to rely on. We enter relationships to find exactly that, only to realise it is actually ourselves we must learn to rely on order to build reliable relationships.
Power tools are available. The most popular among them is 鈥淵ou spot it, you got it.鈥�
Are you able to see a part of yourself in the objectionable opinions and behaviour of another? Can you relate? Are you willing to drop your defences for a moment of considerate empathy?
Additional power tools include:
Are you in it to win, or open to generous compromise?
Do anger or defensiveness cause your ears to shut down?
You may disagree but are you able to consider an opinion other than your own?
Is control or lack of control at the heart of a disagreement?
Do you keep a ledger and insist on balancing emotional accounts?
The art of disagreement requires engagement, self-examination and a lifetime of practice. What鈥檚 love got to do with it? A second hand emotion?
Snake
Form reading the book by Dr Les and Leslie Parrott “Healthy Me Healthy Us” it is interesting to note that there are three hallmarks “Significances” “Authenticity” and “Love” and without significances you’re insecure and without Authenticity you’re a phony and without LOVE you’re indifferent
Unhealthy people by default suffer from being anxious, superficial and egocentric
It is essential for wholeness as they build one another THEY STAND AS A TRIPOD and if one leg is missing WHOLENESS topples
This stands true with “What’s Love got to do With it?
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