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Understanding the Difference Between Confidence and Self-Esteem

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Confidence and self-esteem are often used interchangeably, but they are distinct psychological concepts that influence how we perceive and navigate the world around us.

Let’s explore the key differences between confidence and self-esteem:

1. Definition:

Confidence: (noun)
a feeling of self-assurance arising from the belief in one’s own abilities, talents, and judgments. It is the assurance in one’s capacity to succeed and handle challenges effectively.

the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something.

Feeling certain about the truth of something.

the sharing of private matters or secrets with someone in mutual trust.

Self-Esteem:

Self-esteem refers to the overall subjective emotional evaluation of one’s own worth or the value you place on yourself. This includes feelings of self-acceptance and self-respect.

Elements that contribute to our sense of self-esteem:
Self-confidence
Feelings of security
Identity
Sense of belonging
Feeling of competence

And most certainly our self-esteem can be impacted by our:
Age
Disability
Genetics
Illness
Physical abilities
Socioeconomic status
Thought patterns

Developing a healthy self-esteem can influence your motivation, your mental well-being, and your overall quality of life. It’s like a watercolour background wash to your lived experience. As with all things, having a self-esteem that is either too high or too low can be problematic.

2. Nature:

– Confidence: Confidence is more task-specific and situational. It can vary depending on the context or area of expertise.

– Self-Esteem: Self-esteem is a broader, more enduring trait that reflects a person’s overall sense of self-worth and value as a human being.

3. External vs. Internal:

– Confidence: Confidence is often influenced by external factors such as past achievements, experience, and feedback from others.

– Self-Esteem: Self-esteem is more internally driven and is rooted in how individuals perceive themselves regardless of external validation or circumstances.

4. Impact on Behavior:

– Confidence: High confidence enables individuals to take risks, pursue opportunities, and handle setbacks with resilience.

– Self-Esteem: Healthy self-esteem fosters self-compassion, assertiveness, and the ability to set boundaries in relationships.
One can maintain a healthy relationship with others because one has a healthy relationship with oneself.
This includes a healthy understanding of one’s needs and the ability to express those needs. They are realistic and appropriate inter-personal expectations.
In contrast, someone with a low self-esteem can tend to doubt their decision-making process. It can impact their motivation to try new things because they don’t believe they can reach their goals. This means they can express low levels of confidence and feel unlovable and unworthy.

At the other end of the scale, someone with an overly high self-esteem may overestimate their skills and may feel entitled to succeed, regardless of whether they have the abilities to back up their belief in themselves. Despite this belief, they may still struggle within relationships because they block themselves from self-improvement – since they are so fixated on seeing themselves as perfect and therefore cannot tolerate criticism becoming reactionary.

5. Development:

– Confidence: Confidence can be developed and improved through practice, skill-building, and positive self-talk.

– Self-Esteem: Self-esteem is shaped by early experiences, relationships, and self-perception, but can be enhanced through self-reflection, self-acceptance, and self-care practices. It can certainly be improved during adulthood.
Abraham Maslow depicted esteem as being one of the basic human motivations in his hierarchy of needs which we dive into during our programmes.
Maslow suggested that individuals need both appreciation from other people and inner self-respect to build esteem. Both of these needs must be fulfilled in order for an individual to grow as a person and reach self-actualization.

Building confidence and depositing into our self esteem tank through self-awareness, positive mindset, challenging negative core beliefs and self-improvement efforts can lead to a more resilient and fulfilling life. You will feel more capable at weathering life’s storms because you will have an inherent sense of self-belief that no matter what happens, you can trust your ability to cope and manage life’s trials. Only through awareness and honest observation of your patterns/mind-set can you begin to build a healthier version of yourself that you may previously not have had access to. You’ll feel more motivated to reach your goals, because you will know that you are capable of accomplishing what you set your mind to.

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