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Managing the Mental and Physical Landscape of Heartbreak

Short on time? Take a moment to give the audio recording of this blog post a quick listen.

 

Healing from a broken heart can be a challenging process. In fact, it has been shown that the same areas of the brain get activated when people feel physical pain as well as when they feel emotional pain (namely, the anterior insula and the anterior cingulate cortex). In one study, this area was activated when people experienced social rejection from their peers and in another study, when people who had recently broken up with their romantic partners saw pictures of their ex.

That’s all very well and good, however, the more interesting question is – are loss and grief felt in the body? I think many of us would instantly agree to feelings of a broken heart – pain in our chests, constriction, burning even heavy-hearted.

Well, the opposite is equally true. When we feel a sense of safety that comes from being in the company of loved ones – this is partly created by vagal-parasympathetic activation (our rest and digest neural network) – which generates an easy and relaxed integration of breathing and heart rate located in our chests.

Conversely, feelings of insecurity get the heart and the breath out of synch and activate the sympathetic nervous system. We experience this sense of unsafety as if we are dealing with a threat (therefore raised heart rate and blood pressure), hence a sense of unease in the chest, pressure or even pain. It has been seen that people in insecure relationships are more likely to have auto-immune and cardiovascular problems than others in more secure relationships

With this in mind, one can be more cogniscent of oneself when going through emotional pain, and especially a broken heart. Just like with a physical injury, the body tells us through pain where the injury is – it really is no different with emotional pain. And in much the same way, it will take time, self-care, and support to overcome the impact of loss and begin to move forward.

Here are some strategies to help you navigate through this difficult time:

1. Allow Yourself to Grieve: It’s important to acknowledge your feelings and give yourself permission to grieve the loss of the relationship. Allow yourself to feel the feelings – sadness, anger, or confusion – and understand that it’s a natural part of the healing process as it would be for any physical injury.
2. Seek Support: Surround yourself with supportive friends and family members who can provide comfort, understanding, and encouragement. Talking about your feelings and receiving emotional support from people you trust will help to feel less alone. It will also help to get a different perspective on things. Be open to feedback.
3. Practice Self-Care: Take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. Engage in activities that bring you comfort and joy, such as exercise, meditation, hobbies, or spending time in nature. Eat well, get enough rest, and prioritize your overall well-being. Think of it as re-setting yourself and so, as a result, you need to put yourself in environments that are encouraging and nurturing.
4. Set Boundaries: Establish boundaries to protect yourself during this sensitive time. This may involve limiting contact with your ex-partner, unfollowing them on social media, or avoiding places that trigger painful memories. Setting boundaries is an acto f self-care.
5. Reflect and Learn: Use this opportunity for self-reflection and personal growth. Consider what you have learnt from the relationship and how you can apply those lessons to your future relationships. Take the time to understand your own needs, values, and boundaries.
6. Engage in Therapy or Counseling: Talking to a therapist or counsellor can provide a safe space to explore your feelings, gain perspective on the breakup, and develop healthy coping strategies. Professional support can be invaluable in the healing process because therapists offer insight that can often be lacking from others because friends may not want to compromise their relationship with you.
7. ÌýFocus on the Future: While it’s important to honor your feelings and take the time to heal, look towards the future with curiousity. Explore new interests, engage with possible new goals and envision a more fulfilling future based on your value system
   Remember that healing from a broken heart is a gradual process, and taking things one day at a time is okay. Be patient and kind to yourself as you navigate through this period of healing and growth.