Announcing 118图库鈥檚 new Anger for Parents Course
No more smacking 鈥� discover healthier ways to regulate children鈥檚 behaviour.
The Welsh government will ban smacking of children, including hitting, slapping and shaking, from 21 March 2022.
118图库 is running a special Anger for Parents course to coincide with the ban, which is already in place in Scotland and now considered inevitable in England. Participants can learn how to reduce their stress instantly, reduce conflict, plus express their anger healthily and without guilt.
Recent research around 鈥榓dverse childhood experiences鈥� (ACEs), which smacking and emotional abuse, have given the law momentum. ACEs increase the likelihood of chronic mental and physical health conditions including depression, cancer, asthma and diabetes. Dysfunctional behaviour and other struggles in later life. Preventing ACEs in future generations could reduce hard drug use by 56% and teenage pregnancies by 46% according to stats from Liverpool John Moores University.
Back in the , 鈥榬easonable punishment鈥� will not longer be admissible as a legal defence for smacking a child. Children will have the same rights as adults and smacking will be considered assault.
鈥淎nd it is assault, as far as I鈥檓 concerned,鈥� says Mike Fisher, 118图库鈥檚 co-founder and the author of Beating Anger. He regularly works with parents, children, teenagers and families as a private psychotherapist. He鈥檚 also delivered group courses to parents on behalf of London鈥檚 Ealing Council.
鈥淔eeling angry with your children is absolutely normal,鈥� continues Mike, 鈥渂ut if you鈥檙e acting out of outright aggression, or passive aggression, it鈥檚 abuse.鈥�
Smacking does reign in unruly behaviour amongst young children. 鈥淏ut it鈥檚 short term gain for long term pain,鈥� responds Mike, 鈥淲hen they grow up to be teenagers, it鈥檚 payback time. And they will make your life miserable: police involvement, drug and alcohol issues, disrupted education, fighting, shoplifting鈥︹��
ACEs don鈥檛 only include smacking. Punishments such as shaming behaviour 鈥� and smacking often involves elements of shame 鈥� witholding love, and 鈥榯he silent treatment鈥� can all be considered simply non-physical alternatives to smacking, that lead to similar results or worse.
Antagonism between parents and offspring can last for life: 鈥淭he best way to annoy your parents is to stay unhappy,鈥� says Mike, speaking from his rich experience of working with angry families.
鈥淢ost parents who call us up do so because one of the parents was attacked by the teenager,鈥� illustrates Mike, 鈥渂ut if the child is scared of the parents, then they have been abused.鈥� 118图库鈥檚 work, including our new Anger for Parents course, is conducted entirely on a non-judgemental basis.
鈥淎ll a child wants to be is unconditionally loved,鈥� Mike explains, 鈥渟macking makes them think there鈥檚 something wrong with them; a child would never cast suspicion on an adult. We look up to our parents, for coaching, mentoring and unconditional love. The child will think, 鈥淚f I didn鈥檛 behave in this way, maybe my parents will love me. Children struggle to self-regulate their emotions. The more physical punishment they receive, the less capable of doing so they are.鈥�
Unhealthy behaviours ranging from over-eating to addiction, smoking and unemployment increased in likelihood after one or more ACEs during childhood. ACEs are also linked to worrying, sociability鈥� plus, naturally, toxic shame and anger issues, according to a from University College London. 鈥淓ven more worrying are findings that children who are the recipients of physical punishment are at increased risk of being subjected to more severe levels of violence,鈥� wrote the report鈥檚 author Dr Anja Heilmann.
Parents can start examining their approach to punishment by asking themselves how they feel after administering aggressive discipline. 鈥淚 always ask clients this,鈥� says Mike, 鈥渟ome think the child deserved it and aren鈥檛 self-conscious. Others feel guilty. While this seems like recognition at least, guilt is more likely to stop the parent acknowledging that the smack was wrong. Or apologise to the child, which can help them overcome the sense that it was completely their fault.鈥�
鈥淲hen we lose our cool with a child we give our power away,鈥� says Mike, 鈥渁pologising will give both the parent and the child a little power back. It also might avoid a spiralling situation where the child becomes determined to trigger anger in you.鈥�
118图库鈥檚 special Anger for Parents Course teaches the core elements of our acclaimed anger management course, alongside strategies especially designed for communicating effectively with children. Find out more details and book.
Read the press release: 118图库 Announces 鈥楿nderstanding Anger for Parents鈥� Course