118图库

鈥楢nger guru鈥� Mike Fisher saw Will Smith鈥檚 Here’s his advice for the troubled Hollywood star.

鈥淲ill needs to get himself to an anger management class ASAP!鈥� Suggests Mike, also a trained couples’ and family therapist, wisely, 鈥淚t鈥檚 as simple as that 鈥� especially when you mess up in a public space, have loads of fans and young people looking up to you.鈥�

Will and Jada Pinkett-Smith are major celebrities. But you don鈥檛 have to be a megastar to express anger unhealthily, or find yourself in a complex relationship. Mike, author of Beating Anger and an international anger management thought leader, points out that timing is important to understanding why we sometimes lose it.

鈥淐hris Rock has no real understanding of what happened to Will Smith in the 90 minutes or so leading up to the incident. But there鈥檚 obviously something going on for Will. Chris鈥� joke, and his wife being humiliated in public like that, would鈥檝e been the final straw,鈥� Mike says.

The incident provides a classic example of the unthinking rage that defines unhealthy anger. Feeling angry is healthy and natural. What鈥檚 not okay is letting the red mist take over your senses, and acting destructively.

“Here at 118图库, one of our core 鈥榓nger first aid鈥� techniques is: 鈥楽top. Think. Take look at the bigger picture. And think of the consequences.鈥� Will obviously did not do this. And now he has to deal with the consequences. He laughs at first, but when he made sense of what was said, he took it personally. He felt humiliated. And yes, he wanted to protect his wife.鈥�

But when we鈥檙e in a rage we never properly consider the consequences. 鈥淏y the time he has regressed into anger, he is unaware of any consequences,鈥� points out Mike, 鈥淚t鈥檚 only post the situation that he does become aware. When he finds his life has changed.鈥�

Another of 118图库鈥檚 essential techniques is: 鈥楧on鈥檛 take it personally.鈥�

鈥淛ada was the target of the dark humour and strictly it is her responsibility to deal with anything she is uncomfortable with. She鈥檚 not meant to stride onstage and punch him in the face either. But what she could鈥檝e done 鈥� for her own benefit 鈥� is approach Chris after the show.鈥�

Learning communication skills like those taught on 118图库鈥檚 acclaimed anger management courses can help us regain a sense of agency when we feel disrupted.听

Jada could鈥檝e maturely explained to Chris, 鈥淟isten, this is the issue. I wasn鈥檛 happy with what you said. I understand that there was some humour associated with that. But I feel very self-conscious about it. As you already know we have some issues in the family. So I鈥檇 appreciate a public apology.鈥�

Historic, unresolved anger will be at the source of Will鈥檚 issues. 鈥淲hen he gets into a rage he is essentially regressing to the time of the original hurt,鈥� says Mike, 鈥渉is challenge is not to deconstruct what happened at the Oscars, but how and why he regressed that far.鈥�

Mike鈥檚 also a family and relationship consultant trained in The Gottman Method, and works with families and couples on their anger and other relationship issues regularly. The Smith鈥檚 modern marriage has been cited as a possible factor in the Oscars fracas.听

鈥淚鈥檇 like to know what challenges he鈥檚 faced with,鈥� says Mike of working with Will or clients facing family problems, 鈥淲hat is he dealing with around his wife and his kids? Then we鈥檇 build a therapeutic game plan, which gives him the chance to begin addressing any issues in his relationship or relationships. He must make sense of his history, his relationship with his family, and figure out how to integrate that into his choices.鈥�

Find out about 118图库’s Couples’ Course here.